Questions I must ask
Why do crickets come in a bag?
Why did Charlie Sheen leave Denise Richards?
Why am I stuck at nine inches when I should be 12?
When will this reality tv phase stop?
Why is Punch mesmerized by hotdogs?
How is it that everyone I know voted for Kerry but Bush was still elected?
Is this really the Man of Steel?
Is Paris (pictured above) my mom?
Why do women flock to him?!??
2 Comments:
I will attempt to answer these questions for you:
1. It's really hard to control them when they come in the little styrofoam containers as fishing bait. Bags are better.
2. I think she left him. I could be wrong.
3. No worries. It's just a lag in the growth spurts. Spurts is a gross word, by the way.
4. Never.
5. Because they're not real meat. Just like Beggin' Strips aren't really bacon.
6. Bush stuffed the ballot box.
7. No.
8. Maybe?
9. It's the bad comb over/tupee look. Slays women every time. That and the money...
I dream...next time Trump's rug comes back from the cleaner's, it's infested with crickets. Big, fat, jumping ones. Creep -- and I'm 3000 miles away... ;-)
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